Wossit all about?

I suppose I should start with why I'm blogging?

I've got a therapist. I've got a wife. I've just about got some friends left. There are people to talk to.

But for whatever reason, nothing is ever enough for me. No-one can listen enough. Respond enough. Engage enough...deeply enough. 

So, I've decided to chuck it all out into the ether. If people respond, great. If they don't, fine. At least I have an outlet. 

In my heart of hearts, what I want is for this to help someone, somewhere. Because when my cracks started to show, I'd never felt so alone in my entire life. Even though it's a life waymarked by loneliness and isolation. 

Of course, every day me is absolutely fine. Life and soul even. Never shuts up, talks to anyone. I get really passionate about things, enthusiastic, outgoing, easy to talk to, engaged. 

But real me? I have no fucking clue. But I know he's scared. 48 years on the planet and I still don't know who I am or what I want. 

When I was a kid, I mistakenly thought that people use to live until they were 100, and then they died. That was nature's order. By that reckoning, I'm almost at the half-way point. Yet, it's only now I feel my life is starting. Since diagnosis...since opening up. 

So, do I mourn those years 'lost'? No. They gave me my wife and kids. There are one hundred of more things I would change about myself and my life, but never them. 

So, what's this blog all about? I'm hoping it's solace; where I share some of my crap journey, in a bid to help people not feel the freak I did for so long. 

I know nothing about ADHD from a clinical or therapeutic perspective. I'm not a coach. I'm not here to give advice. 

I'm here to share my experiences and in the hope that doing so will be useful for both me and you. 

Let's see how we go.



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